Mad Libs
much madness is divinest sense to a discerning eye
Dear character 
30th-Apr-2008 11:08 am
Dear character who's been turned into spawn:

Really? Cause I didn't see that coming as a by product of spawnage. What else are you hiding? Are you planning to mess with my plot? I know you are. Don't lie to me. I need to know what's going on. So fess up. What are you up to next?

Sincerely,

author
burial
Comments 
30th-Apr-2008 05:58 pm (UTC)
I understand... I'm having the quantitative non-fiction equivalent of this today. ::headdesk::
30th-Apr-2008 07:46 pm (UTC) - Sympathies...
I had one do that to me a few weeks ago. I haven't even introduced him in the book yet, except mentioned in passing. Now I find out he's a supporting character? The others will not like this turn of the plot! (A couple books down, they may get with the program. But not yet.)
30th-Apr-2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
Also found in the letters from an author pile-

Dear Novel-

Oh, how big you've gotten over the last few months! It seems like just yesterday that you were a glimmer in the back of my mind. Amazing, really, how you came forth into this world, screaming and crying and gasping for air. When I first beheld you, I realized you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and to think that I created you! I cradled you, I babied you, I brought you up and kept you as close to my heart as anything.

And now... well, now you're a spoiled little brat, aren't you? You're always crying for attention. You're the neediest little thing I've ever seen. Every five minutes, something else has to be done. You're always running away from me, and someday, I'm afraid you're going to be so much as roadkill if I can't figure out a way to keep you on a leash. And, oh God, the pissing and the shitting. You are the messiest. Every other second it seems like I'm having to clean you up or change you. And heaven help me, when you get big enough for me to send you out into the world, that day will hold for me a joyous sigh of relief, because I'll finally be rid of your putrescent little needy carcass, and I can move on to fathering my next bastard love child.

Much love,
Big Daddy Cam

Hm... I guess that letter explains why I'll never really be that great of a father.
1st-May-2008 02:02 am (UTC)
LOL, I know how you feel!! I had that problem a while ago. Hope it gets better!!
2nd-May-2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
My new favourite phrase: "total spawnage". :)
~ visit the website for more information about current and upcoming works, and to read excerpts!