I'm putting this behind a cut because, well, I probably should, though I find it hugely funny and think there should be t-shirts.

ETA: And then of course I wonder what the "How to properly respond to this" panel would look like. Anybody care to give it a try and upload it?
Potential answers coming in now . . .
From
clowe:
"Quick. Hide it in the cheese grater/microwave/coffee pot/cement mixer/Lorraine Bobbitt's closet (that should be a band name)/Monica Lewinsky."
"Here. Big Gay Al can hide it for you."
"But it's so small! How could they ever find it?"
And from
benreeder:
"Good luck with that."
And:
"You're right, we are. I'm Agent Smith. This will only hurt for a couple of days."