me

Stupid Human Tricks

Specifically, stupid human mental gymnastics. I have been beating myself up a lot lately. It has to do with the house not selling. The latest lookers liked it, but not enough. It’s very demoralizing, along with my other emotional sadness from being apart from the man and the stress of being essentially a single mom and working a day job and writing. So I started thinking about what more I could do. Because really, beating yourself up is usually about not doing enough, or being lazy, or what have you. So I took inventory.

Am I keeping the house clean and showing it to the best of my ability? Yes
Am I making sure the kids keep up with their homework and are healthy and happy? Yes
Am I doing my day job? Yes
Am I getting my writing done? I had slacked awhile, but now the answer is Yes.
Have I been keeping up with the day to day of life and living (paying bills, fixing food, laundry, etc). Yes
Have I been exercising? Yes
Have I been taking care of the dogs? Yes

So in answer to the question, what more can I do, I just don’t know. And that’s the point. If I’m doing all that I can do, then what exactly do I have to beat myself up about? All the rest is out of my control. I can’t make people buy my house. All I can do is what I can do.

I am now trying to be done with the stupid human trick of beating myself up for what I can’t do anything about. Is this just something I do? Or do you all do it too?

Originally published at www.dianapfrancis.com. You can comment here or there.

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Comments

Oh, I do it too. I think too many of us are just caught in a nasty cycle right now.
No, I think a lot of us do it. I certainly do. And you nailed it already, with your comment about what's in your control and what isn't. Letting go what isn't in your control IS taking control of it, is how I look at it. Hope you can work through this--the kind of guilt and self-torture you're suffering is just awful!
me

December 2014

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